Still a classic, still gonna play the hell out of the remake Look, we were a year out from Ocarina of Time, there wasn't much else to play. You'll learn one day that I really don't lie. So I could draw Don Corneo's basement rape dungeon, but I've already stretched you a bit thin, so instead, please enjoy this screenshot. At least one of you, for example, probably thought I was being colorful with the above sequence, went and looked it up on YouTube, and then discovered that no, that was even actual dialog that I stole. Here's the bad thing about MSPixel: I suspect that there's a bit of believably lost when I draw this shit for you. Okay, good, now to go to Don Corneo's to see if he'll choose to bang Cloud. You just get to choose whether or not you want to be conscious, and how many wieners you'll be facing.Īfter Cloud gets non consensually penetrated, Aeris dresses him like a woman, because why wouldn't you, really. There are other rooms you can choose, you know!īy the way, there's no way to get the bikini briefs without being raped. The following actually happens, hand to God. In one room, because of plot spoilers, Cloud gets overwhelmed and passes out. There's a couple of places you can choose to go. Look on the ground, you can see a membership pass, and you know exactly where we're going with it. There's a weird sequence where you're supposed to get something out of a hotel vending machine and you're supposed to think it's a ~condom~ but if you have any familiarity with this game, you know for damn sure that that's not why you and I are here. We can, of course, go straight on, but your chances of getting to Tifa get better when you get more stuff. I don't want you to excuse Final Fantasy VII, it's still wrong as hell, but remember that this garbage did exist. Particularly in Japan, but it's not like the US was innocent. This game was made in 1997, and this shit used to be considered funny.
actually, yeah I do know that, and you do too. I'm not sure why Square thinks that the only people in gyms are ripped half naked men bearing women's wigs. Or when you go to a gym to beat a guy in a squat contest for a wig. Like when you go to a bar to hunt down a dress maker. You go through a few sidequests to get some cosplay materials for Cloud. Let's go to this Don Cornero's mansion you speak of. That is, by the by, The Honeybee Inn, Midgar's premier whore house.īut we're not here to sight see, we're here to grab Tifa. Cloud and Aeris are chilling in this playground in the middle of the Midgar slums, right?Īeris and Cloud search all through the slums, and finally come across someone who's heard of Tifa. Ironically, I think you could legitimately argue that MSPixel's art is on par with the lego people in the original PSX/PC game. If you're really going to stick around, then I guess I can draw the Honeybee Inn sequence of Final Fantasy VII for you. I'm not kidding just go ahead and smash that X button up top, just close the hell out of this window. That being said, at E3, Square Enix announced a remake of the ever classic Final Fantasy VII. I'm not kidding, some awful shit is about to go down. OKAY LISTEN HERE BEFORE WE START BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT: This is easily the filthiest, most NSFW MSPixel ever.